How to Cling to Jesus When You Don’t Understand

Hi guys! Wow it feels so good to be back and I’m ready to rock it! Over the weekend I had some professional pictures done for my blog so I’m really excited to be back into the swing of things.

14917098_1603336103304145_684044913595912623_oNow, I’ve been MIA for quite some time so let me tell y’all why.

I broke my leg.

Yes, you read that correctly. I BROKE my leg. What happened you ask?

Well, I went to an amateur bull riding competition and… just kidding it’s a stress fracture.

14449728_10209075630841670_7419729551366386377_nIf you haven’t ever broken a bone let me tell you, it takes A LOT out of you. Unfortunately I’ve had quite a few experiences with injuries and surgeries. Luckily I didn’t have surgery with this break. But, I’ve been in a boot every other year since 2012. My first surgery was back in  2006 though.

Through all of this I can’t help but think God is teaching me something. Actually, many things. The Lord is so good you guys. One thing I’ve been realizing is you can have joy in the midst of deep sorrow. I don’t understand why I’ve had so many surgeries and injuries with my ankles. I don’t understand why I had to quit soccer, the sport I played for 11 years, because of physical hindrances. I don’t understand why I broke my leg the day before I was supposed to go on a 5 day cruise to the Bahamas. But what I do understand is that God is here and he is working in my life so evidently, my love for him is overwhelming.

I could look at these things that have happened to me and become angry but, why? It says in James to count all your trials as an opportunity. Sometimes I don’t like that verse because I just want to be mad. But, if I were to fall into the temptation of becoming angry because I think it will make me feel better what would I have accomplished? I would have successfully given the enemy what he wanted, and I would only be hurting myself. Yes things that have happened to me really suck. But God is so much bigger and better than that. Pain and sorrow are not from the Lord they are part of life. So I encourage all of you to cling to Jesus when pain comes your way because He is who gets you out of it not who puts you in it.

I’ve also been learning that I don’t always get to know why. That can be one of the most frustrating parts of life. But as I sit here and reflect, I begin to wonder how knowing why would put my mind at ease. If I knew why certain things happened the reason still wouldn’t make sense. So, we don’t get to know why we just get to praise Jesus through it all.  

unnamedI want all of you to be encouraged by this post. I don’t want to put a damper on your day by talking about depressing things. I want you to be excited that you get to praise Jesus! So here are a few practical steps you can take when you’re learning to cling to Jesus amongst confusion.

  1. Pray. Just talk to Jesus. He wants you to run to him. Pray even if you don’t hear anything. There really is power in prayer.
  2. Journal. I have been keeping a journal that has everything in it. My prayers, thoughts, dreams, and daily happenings and it has been a HUGE part of my daily devotional time. I am able to look back and see how God is answering my prayers and how he is working in my life.
  3. Be still. This one is hard for me. I want things to happen right away but I have to trust God’s timing. Trust that He is working in your life even though it may be a season of waiting.

So I pray that each and every one of you who read this leaves feeling refreshed, encouraged, and inspired. God chose you and loves you so much. Trust in His ways even when it’s hard.

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Becoming Brave

My whole life I’ve always loved adventurous endeavors. However, I never really was one to partake in the so called adventure. But I loved the idea of it. Lately I’ve been realizing that it’s a spirit of fear that’s holding me back, and the spirit of fear comes from the enemy. The enemy’s job is to steal, kill, and destroy and I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell don’t want the enemy to have that kind of control over me. So I’m determined to break the spirit of fear the enemy has place upon me. I’m becoming brave.

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Becoming brave can be something different for every single person. For me it has been a few select activities/experiences I’ve done. I’m here to share them with you and encourage you do something maybe you’ve been too scared to try.

1. I got a tattoo. 

I KNOW! I GOT A TATTOO CAN YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE IT? Well its for real. Having a tattoo is something I’ve literally always wanted. But I convinced myself I didn’t want one because honestly I was too scared to actually do it. Well you can read all about my first tattoo here. It was definitely an experience to remember.

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2. I went to the fair by myself.

I LOVE the fair and if you’ve been reading my blog for any amount of time you might have seen that here. I didn’t have anyone to go with and I had a day off so why not? At first, I thought maybe I should wait for some people to go with me, what if I see people I know, what if people think I’m weird and have no friends? WELL SO WHAT. I like the fair and I wanted to go. So I did. The whole time I was having a blast, and I kept thinking how awesome it is to feel so comfortable with myself to actually go to the fair and ride the rides all alone. image4

3. I went on the ferris wheel. 

I don’t do ferris wheel’s. But my cousin really wanted me to go. I did and I didn’t die! It wasn’t my most favorite experience but I made the most of it. This is my I’m actually terrified but I went on the ferris wheel anyway look.

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Like I mentioned earlier, becoming brave will look different for each person. Some of you may think all of these are the pettiest things but for me, it took a lot of courage and boldness. A little bit ago I saw a picture I took about 4 years ago. It’s crazy to see how this picture now applies to my life when back then I was still dabbling with only the idea of bravery.

10353564_10203492314102241_313337241552395547_nI pray this post has been encouraging to you and that you can start taking the necessary steps to breaking the spirit of fear. I’d love to hear all of your stories about bravery. You can connect with me here, instagram, facebook, and twitter.

 

 

I linked up here, here, and here.

 

Own Your Life Chapter 1

I like reading. I like the idea of reading. I enjoy my quiet time but getting into a book is really difficult for me no matter how much I want to read. I bought this book titled “Own Your Life” by Sally Clarkson and I have finally decided to start reading it. So here is a little encouragement I have gained from chapter 1.image1-1

Clarkson spoke a lot about her experiences in life and how she got to where she was and it was quite promising to see how such a successful woman has had some serious life struggles. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who has had this certain struggle so I don’t see any way of coming out of it. I know it seems silly but I’m sure each and every one of you have had that thought.

She referred to life as a puzzle which I loved. Each season of your life is a piece in the puzzle and you can choose to strive for a completed puzzle or live with a broken puzzle. Basically saying that your life is ultimately up to you.

I’ve had a blessed life and sometimes I feel as though it’s not fair that I have been blessed with this amazing supportive family while others are struggling for the support of their loved ones. But since diving into this book I’ve already come to the realization that my experiences in life are no less than anyone else’s. My “puzzle” may be at a different stage than others but it doesn’t mean that I can’t help people. Although my story is different it doesn’t discount the pure intentions of my friendship.

So far I definitely recommend this book and I look forward to sharing each and every chapter with you all. If you bought this book or have read it before I would LOVE to hear your thoughts!

 

 

I linked up here.

My First Tattoo

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I’ve always liked the idea of a tattoo. Something so personal permanently cemented onto your body. Tattoos are not for everyone and I respect that. I always thought I would never pull up enough boldness to actually do it. But there I was, thinking I was there only supporting a friend, sitting in “the” chair about to acquire something so permanent, so personal, and so fun. I almost don’t know how I ended up there. But I did, and there were legions of emotions pouring out and I didn’t know how to express all of them at once. So I was calm, yet anxious. I was confident in the tattoo I chose. I always knew if I were ever to get one this is what it would be.

During the process I was in oceans of pain. It was so small and didn’t take very long but boy did it hurt. I was in so much pain I thought to myself “what am I doing to my body and why would anyone voluntarily do this to themselves?”. But ultimately I was happy I did it. This was a huge step for me to take and I thank God he gave me the boldness to do it.

I chose a cross because I wanted something biblical. I wanted to be reminded everyday of why I am here on earth. For a long time, I thought about an anchor. But personally I feel like that was just a trend or a phase and it would fade quickly. Sure enough, I was right. I chose a cross because it’s so timeless and classic. The cross is the first thing I think of when I think of my savior. The cross is my reminder of how much God truly loves us.

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I also chose my wrist because I wanted to be able to see it. I want to be reminded every single day of how I want to live and who I want living through me. This may seem like a long post for such a small thing but every tattoo tells a story and I would love to hear yours!  You can connect with me here, on twitter, facebook, and instagram.

 

Choosing Your Friends

image1 (9)This has been a long awaited post. I knew ever since I started blogging that this would be a post I would eventually put out for the world to see. It is so close to my heart but it’s not necessarily the most fun thing to talk about. Because honestly, sometimes friends aren’t really nice people. My whole entire life my parents have taught me how to be a great friend. Whether they knew they were teaching me or not, they were and I take it seriously. Being a loyal friend is one of the most important things in my life. I make it a point to treat people the way I want to be treated. Now unfortunately throughout my life I was mistreated, taken for granted, and bullied by people I called or hoped to call my friends. It took me a long time to call someone my best friend again and I still struggle with it.

Growing up I was always nice to others and wanted more than anything to have a group of friends but I never did. I mean, there were a few people I would talk to at school but at the end of the day they weren’t there. I would occasionally become really close with someone and we would be “best friends” but then something changed and they became mean. I didn’t understand why that happened and still to this day I don’t fully understand it. But I do know that through all of that God was there. He gave me the strength to walk away from a friendship when I wasn’t being treated right. I still loved them but I just chose to love them from a distance. Because the truth is, we don’t have to be friends with people we don’t want to be friends with. I understand people go through tough times and you can absolutely work through it but ultimately you need to decide whether this is a phase or who they are. I thank God for each and every friend I have and I thank God I am able to walk away from a toxic situation.

I am very careful around new friends because I don’t want to become too emotionally invested in the friendship for it to turn out the wrong way. I love people and I love them deeply so for me to walk away from a friendship is difficult. So I’m not saying choosing your friends is easy but I am saying it’s necessary for your ultimate happiness. If someone is bringing unnecessary drama into my life I walk away and love them from a distance. True friends will build you up and encourage you. For a long time I almost thought true friends didn’t exist but I kept praying. I prayed for Godly friends to come into my life and I finally have them. I am so thankful and so happy to be surrounded by all these wonderful people. If you are becoming discouraged I challenge you to keep praying. Pray hard, pray often, and pray intentionally.13925140_10208594844327398_6143967039518719878_n

What I Love about Summer

Hey all! I hope you had an amazing summer wherever you are. There are things about each season that I adore but I can never get enough summer! I LOVE SUMMER TIME! So I thought I would share my top faves about this glorious season.

image1 (7)1. The Fair.

BECAUSE LOOK. Isn’t it the cutest little thing? image2 (3)I also enjoy the rides tremendously! I love being out at the fairgrounds all day feeling like a kid again. Riding rides, petting animals, eating food, and enjoying every second.

2. Time with friends.

I’ve struggled with having friends my whole entire life up until recently (that’s a whole different post) but this summer I have been soaking up every minute I get with these precious people God has blessed me with.

3. Swimming.

Need I say more? Just look at that floatie.

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4. Tan lines.

Call me crazy. But there is more to tan lines than making the color of your body uneven, tan lines tell a story. Have you ever had some insane looking tan line and as people point it out you end up telling them how you obtained  that undesirable line that separates a darker color from your embarrassingly lighter color? You probably have. But now that you think about it doesn’t laughter and joy derive from those stories? Exactly. That’s why I love tan lines.

Well lovelies those are my top 4 favorites of summer. I would LOVE to know what you love about summer. You can connect with me by commenting on here, facebook, twitter, and instagram. I can’t wait to hear your faves!

How God Works in Small Ways with a Big Impact

So I told y’all I spent a long weekend at Bethel in Redding CA. But what I haven’t talked about is the amazing deliverance I received. I want to share this with you because it is the greatest testimony of how God can work in your life without you realizing what he is doing.

image1 (6)To start, while we were making the treacherous 10 hour drive down to sweet Cali we spent some time journaling and asking God what he wanted to do in our lives. I wrote down a lot of things that had to do with physical healing. I so desperately wanted to receive my long awaited healing in my physical body. My heart was set, my faith was strong, and I was determined. I also wrote down the word deliverance. At the time I didn’t understand why, I knew what the word meant but I didn’t think that word applied to me specifically. Once we arrived on Thursday evening we went to the prayer house to spend some time in God’s presence. A lot of people were receiving great and powerful words from the Lord but I was still feeling numb, and emotionless which left me feeling angry, confused, and frustrated. But I thought to myself “It’s only Thursday. I have the whole weekend to connect with the Lord.”

On Friday we spent the day at the lake. Talk about a beautiful creation. While at the lake I really felt like God was telling me I don’t have to cry to feel his presence. There are a million other ways to express emotion. Believe it or not that was very eye opening for me. For some odd reason I always believed I had to cry in order to really feel the presence of the Lord. Then Friday evening we went to service. Church was good but not great. I was really confused. During worship I just didn’t feel connected. I think because I was expecting something so big I didn’t realize that God can work through you in smaller ways but have the same big impact. After worship while we were still up in the front the pastor started to pray and I felt refreshed I thought “this is it. My healing is about to come.” But it didn’t. Although I felt something leave out of my body I still felt the pain. I did not understand. I was completely confused.

Saturday came and my pain was still prevalent. A group of us went to the Healing Rooms at Bethel and I was STOKED. I just knew I was going to be healed. Something big was about to happen and I was expectant. Throughout the sessions I was just anxious. Waiting for the pain to subside. It never did. Although thankfully the Lord took away the distraction it was causing but it was disappointingly still there. After a few hours I was finally receiving some prayer from the prayer team. They spoke the words of the Lord over my life and declared healing in the name of Jesus. I didn’t feel the pain leave. It was STILL there. I didn’t understand. After another prayer they all seemed to notice something different. There words were “Whoa. I felt that. You look different. You look great.” I appreciated their words but my bewilderment became overwhelming. I sat in a chair with a blank stare, wondering why my physical healing didn’t come. I chose not to be negative but I was frustrated. We then went to spend the rest of the day at the lake and I was ready to put my anger aside and have some fun. It was a great time with friends and we had some really precious time with the Lord under the stars.

Lastly, Sunday was here and I was ready. Ready to receive my physical healing I was convinced would happen. Service went well and afterwards I went up to get prayer. I let her know about my physical pain and also how I was feeling stuck, numb, and frustrated. She prayed a sweet prayer over me and gave me the word on Calm Delight. Afterwards I felt so happy. I felt such joy in my heart. I then realized that I was delivered from depression. Something I had been struggling with for a long time. The chemical imbalance inside me was gone. The thing that was making its home in my heart even though it didn’t belong, left. It’s gone. It is 100% gone and I am AMAZED. The whole time I was expecting a physical healing I didn’t realize God was delivering me from something that has held me back even more than my physical pain. It all came together on Sunday. I wrote down the word deliverance because God has delivered me, I felt something leave my body thinking it was physical pain but it was depression, the prayer team felt the presence of the Lord come and lift the burden of depression off of me which left me looking different.13975482_10208758709598837_2333850232916663385_o

I love that God showed up and totally threw me for a loop. I was expecting something big and something big happened. Although it wasn’t what I was preparing my heart for it was something I needed and I am so gracious for the deliverance God has blessed me with. I hope this story has encouraged you with whatever you’re going through. Its amazing how God can work and do something miraculous when you were least expecting it. 

My Bucket List

Recently I decided to make a bucket list. I always thought these were pointless and just plain silly. But I went for it and it really gave me such a sense of adventure which I think is SO important. Without adventure, where are you going? These are all experiences I have always wanted to do and I’m now making it a point to do them. There are a few I will be crossing of next month and there is a couple I have already crossed off!

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  1. Go to Bahamas
  2. Go on a cruise
  3. Go to atlantis water park
  4. Go to Disneyworld
  5. Go to all 50 states
  6. Zip line
  7. Ride horses in Canada
  8. Go to times square in nyc
  9. Go to austrailia
  10. Go on a safari in Africa
  11. Go to the san diego zoo
  12. See fireflies
  13. Go glamping
  14. Hike Palouse falls
  15. Hike Multnomah falls
  16. Go to Las Vegas
  17. Go swimming at midnight
  18. Go to Santorini Greece
  19. Ride a camel or elephant
  20. Ride in first class
  21. Voo doo donuts

I hope this list has inspired you to make your own! If so, then please share it with me! I want to see what YOU want to do.

Calm Delight

Hey lovelies! I’m so happy to be back. I feel so refreshed, rejuvenated, and excited! I just spent a long weekend over at Bethel in Redding, CA. If you haven’t heard of them you need to go look them up. AMAZING!

God really spoke to me while being there. Lately I’ve been feeling so numb and emotionless. I didn’t understand why because my life has been going great. I just wanted to feel something. I went up for prayer after one service we went to, and this really sweet gal prayed for me and she told me something that really stuck with me. She said “Joy doesn’t always look like this crazy, ecstatic, jumping up and down emotion, you can have a calm delight”. I thought that was just what I needed. I don’t have to scream, cry, or laugh to feel God’s presence. I can just sit in contentment and have such a “calm delight”. image1.PNGI challenge you all to sit in the presence of the Lord for at least a couple minutes today and experience a calm delight. It is so refreshing, calming, and enjoyable. I really took this word to heart and dug in to God’s presence like I never have and my amazement of his promises never ceases.

I hope you all took something away from this and will continue to apply God’s promises to your life. I’m so happy to be back here chatting with you all and I’m READY to re-launch this lifestyle blog. I know God is working through me and I know he is working through  YOU so lets work together and make this a positive and safe place to be.

 

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