If Flowers Say I’m Sorry…

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If flowers say I’m sorry then today I’m going out and buying myself some flowers. Today I apologize to myself. I’m sorry for not treating my body the way it should be treated. I’m sorry I put myself down. I’m sorry I don’t take care of myself. I’m sorry that because of the way I treat my body it leads to so much more. You only have one body. So why not treat it right. I’m saying sorry to my body for being so self-destructive sometimes without even realizing it.

I’m talking about weight, depression, anxiety, and insecurities. Today I throw all of that out because who really wants that? I don’t either. But as I sit here and think about it. I was the one who did this. I put unhealthy food in my body that led to gaining weight. I feel anxious and insecure around people because I let the lies get to me. And when you listen to the lies you start to believe them. Now, depression is a bit of a different story. I didn’t want this. I didn’t give this to myself. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. But I am sorry to myself for not taking care of this earlier.

Today I start to love myself. It will be such a long process but I know it’s worth it. After an apology, comes the healing process. Saying sorry to yourself may feel a little awkward or weird or even unnecessary but for me, I needed it. I needed to know that I was truly sorry so that I could move on. I want to be healthy, confident, and happy. And I will. It just takes time.

I love my body and I love myself. Even if I don’t fully believe that right now I know that I will and I know that in order for me to be happier and healthier I absolutely have to love who I am. I can’t change who I am I can only improve.

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